It's half term, the college worries can fucking wait.
Watched Black Swan yesterday which followed a sudden need to throw myself into all things BALLET! (Dont wanna say too much about the movie, and spoil it for those of you who haven't seen it- But I will say its the most beautiful headfuck of a movie! WATCH IT!).
Going to start the ballerina diet sooonish, well, my own spinoff mixed with another slightly more extreme diet plan which I'm scared to even mention.
Had half a grapefruit this morning. Yummy! So thats a 53 calorie breakfast. Lunch will be a slice of buttered toast (110) and dinner, poached egg and buttered toast (190). I've had a caramel snack-a-jack (51) and a fig biscuit (73!) as snackage so far. Thats a 477 calorie day.. I need to get some decent multi-vitamins. Not up for organ failure at 18..
I figure that when I'm skinny no matter how fucked up I'd be on the inside, it'll be worth the pain to be noticed by people. Fed up of looking in the mirror and seeing her. She isn't me. I hate that I have to photoshop every photo of me. It's so depressing and the neverending cycle is exhausting.
I have to change.
This is a song a very good friend of mine showed me a little while back. She makes me beautiful.
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