Don't let your dreams be dreams ♪

Never been so happy than I am now! Now that we're finally starting to feel the warmth of the sun, I'm going to go ahead and say its spring! :-D
I started a crit study in my Art class the other day and I put my easel in the only patch of sun, it was BEAUTIFUL! Flicked over to my Jack Johnson playlist on the trusty iPod, and I was away!
That guy has made my life SO much better, like seriously, without Jack Johnson I don't know who I'd be today. Don't get me wrong, it's not a teen-bieber-crush thing, I just love his music and his incredible approach to life.
I feel the urge to explain this so make yourself comfortable, you're in for a long ride..

When I first started listening to his music he made me want to move to Hawaii and surf everyday, live in a small house near the beach and open up a cafe like the Hukilau Cafe in 50 First Dates hahaha.. This was around year 8/9 at school, so I was 13ish. I'd search for high-paid jobs that would get me a comfortable bunch of money so that I could live my dreams. So yeah, that then got me into thinking I'd be a really successful Dentist, only practicing on private patients and at the top end of the Dental salary (£100,000). In my mind it was easy, I'd be at University for 5 years, then jump straight on a plane to Hawaii.
Ahh I do miss my care-free naivety.. haha
I worked really hard at GCSE level so that I could take the higher Math paper, which I'd previously been told I wasn't allowed to do because I was in the lower set, and came out with a B! Fuck you Math Director! If there's one thing I've learned it's that you should NEVER let anyone tell you what you will or wont achieve. You know yourself, YOU set your goals and YOU decide.
Anyways my GCSE's got me into college and onto the courses I wanted for Dentistry (Chemistry, Biology, Math) and I picked up Drama too.
Everything was going smoothly until I realised how uninterested I was in the courses. I didn't particularly like them in school, and they didn't get any better at college. I started failing class tests across all my subjects, and I guess I got so afraid of failing I didn't want to try anymore. Pathetic really.
My Doctor told me that I had depression. Gave me some silly helpline numbers. No thanks.
After months of miserable, it finally dawned on me that If I didn't have any real interest in these subjects other than the paycheck, 5 more years of them at University was NOT going to make me happy.
This realisation didn't really help the depression. I was halfway through my first academic year, and all hopes of my Hawaii life dream had shrivelled up and died in front of my eyes.
I failed all my AS exams with U's other than Drama..
Over the summer I decided I wanted to be an actress. Yeah, I know.
I'd had the silly idea at school before then too.
I decided that I'd move to California and attend all the Casting Calls I was getting inboxed to me, from the various casting websites I'd sign up to. When in California I'd become a famous actress and then I'd move to Hawaii with my fat-ole paychecks ;-)
America was where I saw my future, whatever career path I'd choose to follow. That was my dream, and I'd achieve it by any means necessary (I swiftly ruled out prostitution, murder and other major crimes upon further thought).
This obsession went on for a while until realism caught up with me, and thoughts of sustaining myself whilst acting seemed less plausible.
Sooo that put me back in a dead end. Feels horrible when you're suddenly purposeless and lost.
I came back to college and signed up to art.
I just thought "Fuck it, this is easy for you, you know it's the only thing you're good at and you enjoy it. We'll work something out career wise eventually".

So basically, I started making some career ties to Animation. I've always drawn/cartooned since I can remember, and my love for all things illustrated got me into thinking "So. You love drawing shit.. You want to go to California.. That's where the BIG animation studios are.. and you know how to use a pencil. Isn't it glaringly obvious that you're destined to be an Animator!?"

And here we are today. All is well on the career path front after that beautiful epiphany, and it feels so right! There's no bad feeling here like the others, no downside.

I'm studying Graphics, Fine Art, Film Studies and English at college, and I'll be applying to the Arts Institute of San Francisco and CalArts this year.
CalArts is my first choice, but I don't think I'm at a high enough standard to even be considered. I haven't found my own style yet. No visual-dynamicy stuff going on with my work right now. SUCKs!

Whoooooa.. Just read this back and I have strayed SO far away from my point.

It's funny because I started listening to Jack Johnson by complete flook.
Y'see I was 13 and forgot to get a gift for my friend's 14th birthday, so my Mum stopped off in Tesco after school and I randomly picked up Jack Johnson's "On and On" album never having heard of him before or whether she'd like it, just by the look of the song names and funky lookin' cardboard CD cover. When I got home I had a listen -I know that's not cool, but I'm putting it down to fate.
I ended up buying my friend a different birthday present because I loved the CD so much I couldn't let it go.
Crazy how these things work. Who would I be If I hadn't picked up that CD?

Butterfly effect much! If that Tesco employee hadn't put it in my eye line, or the stock had arrived just a little later, everything could be different. Sorta makes you think about what effect you're having on people by just existing. You could be a pinnacle part of someones life and NEVER know it. :-)

I guess all I'm really trying to say is Thank you.
Thank you Jack Johnson. You are completely unaware of how you've shaped my life by just being!